Just a tidbit that arrived in my email concerning bishops written by Billy Reeder:

bishops and paranoid schizophrenics By: Billy ReederYes I really did title it that...I heard on public radio last week about journalists in Hong Kong self censuring themselves because they feared the response of the Chinese government. Reminds me of the thought process going through my mind right now.To write or not to write? To write what I really think? Or is that really something I really want to get myself into? We professed that this is the place to write exactly what you think as long as it wasn't illegal, so does that include me? I suppose it must...so here goes.It started last Wednesday at youth when I was leading a discussion about how we insulate ourselves against getting involved with the problems of others. The question on the table was if a homeless person asked you for help what would you do? Which then moved into the rebuttal of how can we know if we can trust the person? Which lead to my response of we have to get to know them...personally. Which then again led to them conceding to take said homeless person to the local shelter. Which led me to respond that 'you' still aren't really helping that person. 'You' are just pawning them off one someone else to help them. They disagreed arguing that the other person was more equipped to help. I countered, that reason only works if you follow up and check on the condition of the person after dropping them off. They refused to concede to my position.And then we get a phone call this afternoon at church with a voice on the other end that just didn't seem 'quite right'. Long story short, the voice was attached to a 20 something man who was brought to our youth fundraiser spaghetti dinner. On the phone, he said he wanted to tell someone his story. So when he got there, I was giving him a tour of the church and while in the sanctuary we sat down and I asked him to tell me his story. Turns out, four years ago he was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and during that time "in the desert" he heard lots of voices, both good and bad. He had been out of the hospital for a week and a half. And that he was 'fine' now. Let me assure you...he was not. Apparently in that time he'd done very little other than watch religious television programing. He had printouts of a log cabin house plan that he informed me he was about to build as his church and that was going to go next to his apartment complex that he was building. He did ask for help in buying a expository Bible that he saw on TV so that he could preach. We called the 800 number and the place wanted 80 something dollars for it.I sat and talked with this guy for over an hour before the couple that brought him was ready to go home and took him back to his house. But in that time one side of my head was saying, "Man I really wish there was something I could do to help this guy." And the other side of my head was saying in a deadpan voice, "There is absolutely nothing I can do for this guy...and I really wish he would just go away." And then the other side was like, "What was that you were saying about us willingly let people fall between the cracks and people not getting involved with the lives of others?" Dammit...I hate it when I catch myself in the paradox of my own argument.But then there's this other thing that's looming in the back of my mind the whole time. Earlier in the afternoon our pastor handed me a three page copy of 'requests' by the bishop's office for when he visits a church . First of all, I have no idea if this is a standard form letter shared by all episcopal offices or just a local letter. For the most part it was practical bishopy stuff about who sits where and walks behind whom and how he is to be introduced blah blah blah kind of stuff. But then there was this back page about other special requests like someone to be assigned as a personal host/concierge and other stuff that seemed to serve no purpose other than to remind everyone who was among them.And then on top of it all, I remember that also within the span of a week a friend of mine had refused to help me with something I was working on for Sanctus because, "Emergent worship wasn't Biblical."I think of Asbury, riding around a frontier that at times would have just assumed to kill him. Eating leftovers and sleeping on dirt floors of old cabins. Never stopping, never stopping, never stopping. And here I am. Pissed off at my church and myself with this unshaven schizophrenic man sitting in front of me going on about how much he loves Jesus and wants to do serious ministry in Dover and all I can think in response is, "Well, I'm glad to find out that somebody does." The last time I checked, approximately 80% of the churches in my conference had zero professions of faith in the previous year. That number would probably be closer to 90-95% if we didn't count the confirmands raised in the church. Something is terribly wrong.This church thing is just about to do me in.In the mean time...live well...laugh often...love always.Delibrio Animosus,Billy