Happy Birthday to ME,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday dear Conrad
Happy Birthday to me.

I did not take my birthday off today, as where else but work will I hear happy birthday about 100 times? I am taking off tomorrow for my birthday though! I will need it, as I have a birthday party tonight @
Easy Street Piano Bar 307 West 7th Street, Little Rock, AR 72201 (501) 372-3530
@ 7:00 p.m.

For those of you that believe we shouldn't have a drop to drink, I am defering to:
1 Timothy 5:23

What is up with Pat Robertson?

Yesterday evening I was puttering around and heard my 78 year old Mother screaming like a Banshee and shouting "He is such an idiot". Of course I had to run and see what was up. She was watching the Evening News and there was Pat Robertson calling for Hugo Chavez to be assassinated.

I don't know about this doctrine of assassination," said an incensed Mr. Robertson, "but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think we really ought to go ahead and do it. ... We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

I won't say that Pat isn't a Christian, but what kind of Christian would call for someone to be assassinated? I know that all of us at times say or do things that are not very Christ like. But to openly call for someone's murder seems to be going a bit far. Pat has spouted off some pretty crazy stuff over the years, the scary thing is that there are people that will believe what he says, and watch his show and contribute money to his cause.

He is founder of the "Christian Coalition" I do see understand the coalition part of that, the organization is an oxymoron to me just like the Moral Majority which never did strike me as being all that moral, and it definitely wasn't a majority.

We moan and groan about the sermons of the Islamic Imams calling for Holy War and for people to be killed, well folks, we have our own in Christianity in the likes of Pat Robertson and Fred Phelps.

May we all learn peace, Conrad

Just a neat poem by Pergratis from Beliefnet (with permission).

Drink You In

I wish you came in a bottle,

so I could splash your scent all over my skin,

I could taste the delicious elixir of you trickle across my lips,

I could inject you into my veins to have you in my heart and mind,

I could fill up my bathtub with you. . . so I could be in you,

I could pour you into a mold and make you whole again so I could kiss every inch of your sweet flesh with a soft but raging passion

Everlasting Hell!

The current temperature in Little Rock is 103, which got my strange mind thinking about Hell!

I have often wondered about how a loving God could condemn even the greatest sinner to an eternal damnation. Years ago, I started being much more of a Universalist in my approach to heaven and hell. In the last few years however, I began to question if God would actually let EVERYONE into heaven, as some people seem so incredibly evil. Also, why would there be the references to hell of Gehenna in the scriptures.

Now as a Methodist I haven't heard very many sermons on hell since I last visited a Baptist church. You might be a Methodist if you haven't heard many sermons on Hell and you like it that way. However, Hell is a regular theme in some churches, and I don't think that we should ignore the concept.

I think that as Christians, we should look to Judaism when we try to understand certain biblical teachings, not just for the Hebrew scriptures, but also when studying the New testament. I have been "googling" Hell, Gehenna, and Judaism, and have come across some interesting information.

FROM http://www.elevated.fsnet.co.uk/index-page13.html

"The Jewish idea of Gehenna (Gehinnom) is not hell, but rather a purgatory where the soul is purged from all defilement that has accumulated on it during its life on earth.

FROM http://http://www.faqs.org/faqs/judaism/FAQ/06-Jewish-Thought/section-9.html

"However, for Jews, gehenna--while certainly a terribly unpleasant place--is not hell. The majority of rabbinic thought maintains that people are not tortured in hell forever; the longest that one can be there is said to be 12 months. It is a spiritual forge where the soul is purified for its eventual ascent to Gan Eden [Heaven], and where all imperfections are purged.

These concepts of hell seem to be much more fitting to my concept of a loving God.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
Many of us may actually need some purifying time before entering the kingdom, but the concept of Hell being temporary is definitely preferable to its being permanent.

I wonder why hell is always preached as being eternal. The bible was written by Jews, thus would not the Biblical concept of hell be temporary and not permanent. I know that there are many scriptural references to "eternal fire", but I have been through some very unpleasant circumstance which at the time sure seemed to be eternal. I know that 12 months of fire would seem eternal to me. Just being out in this current heat wave is miserable enough!

Peace, Conrad

Relationships & Marriage

With Gay Marriage and other relationship issues being so much on the fore front of discussion in churches and politics recently, I would like to share a little about my relationships.

As a teen and young adult trying to fit in, I would date girls and even get pretty serious. I didn't marry at that time mostly because I thought that I should wait until I had finished College and was established in a career. I think that may have been a sub-concious excuse. I even had sex with some of the girls that I dated. *gasp*

Before I finished college, and before I began my ministerial journey I realized that the "same sex attraction" thing was not a "phase I was going through". I am thankful that I never married as it would have been exceedingly unfair to the girl that I married.

About 5 months after I resigned from my pastorate, I met a man that has played a very important part in my life. We had a Holy Union on July 7, 1995. The service was conducted by the pastor of the local MCC. Many of the people in attendance were from the United Methodist Church we attended, including the pastors family. My parents were present as well. Unfortunately, none of his family was there as they were, and most still are fundamentalists.

We were together for over 9 years. Most of our relationship was not much different than your average heterosexual relationship. We got up, had breakfast, went to work or did housework etc. We came home, fixed supper & ate, watched TV and went to bed together. We were the Tenor section of our Chior, so if we went on a trip together, there wasn't a tenor section. Saturdays, we sat around the house, visited family or friends, went to a park or the zoo. We walked our dogs and did all the other things that normal families do.

There were plenty of ups and downs. Sometimes the bills got a little overwhelming. Sometimes our familys took up more time and we didn't have much time for each other. Sometimes we just were out of sync. We also had lots of great times.

When I look at our relationship and those of my heterosexual friends, I do not see much of a difference. We have been seperated for about 18 months, and what caused this rift are much the same as what causes the same in heterosexual relationships.
Some of it was miscommunication, a lot of it was outside circumstances beyond our controll.

From http://www.divorcereform.org/cau.html some of the main causes of divorce are:
Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Infidelity

and less commen are: Failed expectations or unmet needs, Addictions and substance abuse, Physical, sexual or emotional abuse, Lack of conflict resolution skills.

There were a few of these that overwhelmed us.

We never ceased contact, and attempted to remain civil even during the most difficult period. We are now seeing each other and dateing. I do not know if we will acheive full reconciliation or not.

I do know that gay or straight, the emotional needs are very similiar.

Our parting was more like that of a co-habitating straight couple. There weren't the legal hassles of divorce, we had to hammer everything out between us.

I don't ever see anything in the arguements against same sex marriage about the responsibilities of marriage. I firmly believe that some gay relationships would be more stable with that protection. I definately know that property distribution would be more fair in many instances.

I do not know if a legal marriage would change anything about how our relationship progressed or not. I do very firmly believe that we should have at least have had the opportunity to have had a legal civil marriage.

Hello, I am Conrad and I reside in Little Rock, Arkansas. I have been a member of the United Methodist Church for 22 years and a constituant of the UMC for 5 years before that. I am currently a member of Quapaw Quarter United Methodist, a gay friendly congregation in downtown Little Rock.

I couldn't find the picture I wanted, but atleast this one is recent.

I guess I will start with the "WAY BACK" biography.
I was born in Houston Texas. When I was the ripe old age of One we moved to Lufkin TX, where I went to first grade. When I was almost 7, we moved to Little Rock, where I attended First Lutheran School (Now Christ Lutheran), and attended Grace Lutheran (LCMS).

By the time I was 13 I began questioning seriously the theology of the LCMS and the fact that they didn't ordain women or allow them into positions of authority. I visited and then joined the Unity Church in LR. The Unity church was very openminded and used inclusive language way back in the 1970's. This worked well for me, but then we moved to a small town and commuted to Little Rock for church. I began attending the UMYF in high school. I also was active in the Wesley foundation in College.

I went through a theological search trying to decide what faith I wanted to be during my college years. I visited many Christian churches as well as the local Reformed Temle and Baha'i worship center. I even made a shopping list for what I expected from a faith.

A. Must treat and respect men and women equally.
B. Must open the sacraments to all (i.e. open communion)
C. Must respect other faiths.
D. Must not expect all members to believe EXACTLY the SAME thing.

There were several churches that qualified on several accounts. At the time, there were no female priests in the Episcopal Church in Arkansas. There were a few Methodists, Presbyterians, Christians (DoC), Unitarian Universalists, and Unity female pastors.

One Sunday, I visited a United Methodist Church, and one pastor was a white woman, and the other was a black man, and the congregation was mixed. In 1988 I entered the candidacy program for ordained ministry and went before the pastor parish relations committee and the district board of ordained ministry. I was licensed as a local pastor, and served as Youth Pastor and then was appointed to a rural circuit in 1991 where I served until 1994. I resigned my appointment that circuit in 1994 because of my sexual orientation. I have preached as a lay speaker many times since then. I currently am Chair of Christian Education at Quapaw Quarter UMC.

I will bounce around my past, present, and a lot of thoughts as they come to me.

Shalom, Conrad